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Apocalypse Ed
Chapter 1 It was understandable that zombies could exist. Ever heard of the phrase 'brain-dead'? It means your heart and stuff still works, but you can't think, or move your legs, or anything. You have to be fed with a straw, it would be horrible. But what if you could walk? And move your mouth? Your eyes would work, and you would think anything is food. Including other humans. Yeah, you might think that that's a load of baloney, but I don't think so. Cause I got proof. I got enough proof to make your skin crawl. My name is Eddy. And I was one of five (maybe seven, maybe six. I don't know what happened to the other two) survivors in our town of Peach Creek. I'm one of the surviving type. I like all of the little stuff, and I like guns. Guns are pretty much the surviving key to live in this apocalypse. That and food and water. That's all you need. It kinda helps that Ed was right beside me. He is the strongest person I have ever met. He could pick up a house. And Double-D was there to rationalize. Double-D had the brain of Einstein and he had the hero in him to match. There were other survivors that made it (at least temporarily) in the world of the zombies. Nazz, the hottest girl I know, survived, as did the bald kid named Jonny. Rolf was there too, and Jimmy was tougher than I had ever expected. But some didn't make it. I believe that the Kankers' 'Meatloaf Monday' was the source of the zombies, and they were the ones that infected the whole town. Shovel-Chin Kevin turned out to be a weakling and did not have a chance. Neither did Rolf's animals, or Ed's little sister Sarah. My older brother, who came to live with us, got two grenades. But he only used one. And that one killed him. It wasn't until later that I found out what happened to the other one. It all started on a Monday. It was Meatloaf Monday for the Kankers, and they did not realize that their dinner was blue... But I will start with what me and the other kids were doing that day. Being the inventor Edd is, he invented-you'll never believe it- a car. He called it an Ed 250. It was waterproof, had a very durable engine, and could seat eight people. It could go at a top speed of 50 miles an hour. It was very impressive, and Kevin wanted to steal it. "DORK!" Kevin's usual greeting to us. I particularly hate Kevin, due to something that happened years ago. We were in a contest at school, and me and old Shovel-Chin tied for first. Kevin could not believe that I had gotten that far, so he beat me up. Ever since then he hated me. It seems a bit weird now that I look back on it, but today was no different. When we had anything even remotely nice, Kevin could find a way to either steal it, or break it. Case and point today. "Gimme that!" he said. "You already have a bike!" I said back. "I want it!" "No." "I'LL POUND YOU DORK!" Just as he was about to hit me, there was a low moan from the other side of the cul-de-sac, near the forest. Who should emerge but Lee Kanker, in her usual interrupting way. But for a reason I couldn't understand until later, her skin was gray and she had blood on her lips. "KANKERS!" And then me, Ed, Edd, Nazz, Jonny, Jimmy, Rolf, Plank, and Sarah were in the Ed 250, preparing to leave. We drove off. Kevin was being attacked by her. I looked back, and I saw something I could not believe. Lee had bitten his arm off. The only reply was from Jimmy. "Holy sweet rice cakes." Edd was stunned, and nearly crashed into the telephone pole. By now Kevin was dead meat. Lee had eaten his arm and part of his leg, and was now going for the eyeballs. And out of the woods came Marie and May. Their skin was just as clammy as Lee's, and Marie's stomach had a nasty hole in it. And then Kevin got right back up, his head drained of its blood, he started to moan, and thus Kevin was now officially a zombie. Edd said to me, "We must warn the town!" And we were off. Chapter Two It struck me as the greatestluck in the world that right after Double-D told me that, I found a giant gun on the ground, with bullets and everything in it, I grabbed it, and we were off. We decided it would be best to avoid the road, in case the Kanker Zombies found us (the last thing in this holy world that I want is a Zombie Kanker Hissy Fit) so we cut through the construction site. It was an all-nighter drive, and by the time it was midnight only me and Double-D were still up, the rest drifting into an uneasy sleep. I decided to ask Double-D something. "How can these stupid zombies even exist, Double-D?" "Oh, I'm willing to bet that the Kanker's food was tainted with, say, a mutated form of E.Coli. That may have killed their brain cells, but not their vision and working organs- and, of course, the ability to move. Ever heard of the expression brain-dead?" "Yes." "That might be the case here, just an altered version." "How do you kill one?" "You'd better ask Ed that." "Hello!" Ed was up, nearly scaring my brains out. "How do you kill a zombie, then?" "Seperate the brain from the body or give substantial damage to the brain, but-" Edd jerked the car to a stop. There was a zombie in front of us. The resulting jolt woke everybody up. "What the-" "Who's there?" "Sarah?" "Mama! Your three-bean cabbage cheese chili awakens Rolf!" Sarah looked at the zombie, screamed, and jumped off of the car and into the night. "BABY SISTER!" "Ed! Stay here. Would you rather have two killed or one?" I asked him. "One." "Okay, good. Double-D, can you-" "THEN IT SHALL BE ME!" It took everyone's combined strength to restrain Ed. It was even harder to keep him in the car when a small scream was heard, followed by a roar. Jimmy was paler than usual. "Sarah?" By now, Double-D had killed the zombie in front of us, and the gunshot got everyone's attention. I let go of Ed. "Just drive, Double-D." We had no idea what awaited us in the morning. What awaited us in the morning was a movie star. Ed had just woken up, and he said "Mickey!" We all woke up, and Ed was right. Right in front of us was a teen in a Mickey mouse outfit. He had a Mickey Mouse voice too. "YOu kids had better run. A batallion of zombies is coming up behind you." Right then the guy in the Mickey Mouse costume was torn apart and devoured by Kevin's zombie. Chapter 3 We ran over Kevin and the guy in the Mickey Mouse costume to get into town. On the way there we stopped by a store. It was out of business. "I bet there's stuff still in there, Double-D!" Me, Edd, Ed and Jonny volunteered to go in. I brought my gun, and we headed in. We didn't know what to expect. And then a very fat lady zombie popped up from behind the counter. It seemed like my gun didn't work on her. "EDDY! AIM FOR THE HEAD!" Double-D told me. But I was out of luck-and out of ammo. She came ever closer. Jonny jumped up from behind us, got Plank out, and cut the top of her head off with one swift stroke. But Plank unortunatly was ripped in two by her teeth. You see, she still had her lower jaw. We turned around and looked at the guns. Double-D looked behind us. "Ever heard of Mike the Headless chicken?" "Cool!" Ed said. "He was decapitated, but he lived because he had enough of the brain stem still on his to survive." "So?" "Might be the case here." We all wheeled around. The fat zombie was still alive. "How did the headless chicken die?" "He was choked." Without further ado, Jonny stuffed what was left of Plank into her throat. Choked and died. If that wasn't enough, she fell into the rotten floor into the basement. "Awesome." We got guns and hlodsters for everyone, and a LOT of ammo, and we left for the town. Nazz was looking uncomfortable in the back seat, and once I looked why, I nearly gaged. Jimmy was so hungry and shellshocked that he had lost his lunch on the floor. It was disgusting, but we ended up getting some food from that store too.